Dear brother, I did not get a chance to say good-bye. I didn't even have a chance to tell you how much I loved you. Death is so cruel. It just took you away from me so suddenly. Although I knew you weren’t well, I feel terrible that I didn’t get to spend more time with you.
I wish I could have persuaded you to take care of yourself. However, I failed to do so. You were so sick and it hurt me so much to see you in constant pain. I was so busy with my own life that I forgot how much you needed me in your life.
You tried calling me several times to tell me how much you had missed me. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to visit you. Please forgive me for every wrong I have ever done to you.
***You were my only brother and I will forever love and miss you. Wherever you are, just know you will always be remembered.
Dear Pooh Bear,
I miss you. But you already know this. Just as you watched over me on earth, I am sure you continue watching over me now. The only way I can deal with your death is to tell myself that you are resting, your hands don’t hurt from 12-hour workdays, you don’t have to deal with stress from your ex-wife, and you have all the riches you will ever need.
I also know that you and dad are two-stepping down the streets of gold and saving me a spot in line. I compare your death to you taking a vacation. Someday I will get my ticket and join you. I don’t have a childhood memory without you in it. I can still remember my first day of school. I cried because we couldn’t go together.
I remember when we ate candy corn on Mrs. Burcham’s front porch and collected pop bottles for candy money. I also remember when we used to explore the creek behind the house and tearing up our progress reports so mom and dad wouldn’t find out.
Remember when we both found out together that Santa didn’t exist? We also used to ride to work together washing cars. You also stood up for me whenever an old boyfriend would raise his voice at me. And then there was the snowplow guy, the three on the tree car, the birth of your children, the roar story and so many other great memories.
I think about our childhood and remember the car that hit you while you were on your bike. Then you got hit a second time on your motorcycle when you were a teenager.
I think about those two accidents and thought how lucky we were that you weren’t killed. I think God was warning us to appreciate our time with you because he knew he was taking you on the third and final time. I am sorry the justice system was unfair to you. First, you lost everything in your divorce and your ex received 80 percent of your paycheck. Most men would have quit, but you didn’t.
You did what you had to do for your kids. Maybe God took you because he knew it was too much and wanted to save you from the evil in the world—even if it meant taking happiness away from many others.
I blame your ex for your death as much as the uninsured 20-year old hit-and-run driver that killed you. Had your ex not taken your income, then maybe you would have been in a car on that day. You were on that bike because you never wanted to inconvenience anyone.
I think about what the judge said and realize I don’t care what he thought. He took less than an hour of his time to understand what went on in your life on that day. He said the girl who killed you was remarkable because she had a bad childhood. Based on his statements, that judge has no credibility with me and 80 percent of the public felt the same.
He didn’t do his job and failed you. He didn’t do what was morally right. I am glad we were raised to be good to one another and to do what’s right. I missed you on my 40th birthday. I didn’t celebrate because I couldn’t stand the thought of you not teasing me about being old. And two weeks later when it was your 39th birthday, I thought about how much you would have rubbed it in that you were still on the right side of the hill. I am not going home for Christmas because it won’t be the same.
Nothing will ever be the same. I guess that is how life is supposed to be—changing and full of pain and love. Until the day I am called to heaven to play with you again as we did as kids, keep my spot open because I am calling shot gun. : )
Hugs, love and tears from earth, Your sister Jeanne White “Weanie”
Happy birthday! On your 50th birthday, I wanted to tell you how much we miss you. I still see you in our home videos, but they will never replace my little brother. Although I miss you, I know mother is happy you’re there. And that must be comforting for both of you. I love you.
Although I am probably the person you hate the most, I am writing this letter to you with all the love in my heart. I have never met you or even seen you, but you were my boyfriend’s brother. We have only spoken by phone. You often warned me to stay out of your brother’s life because I am not from the same cast as your family.
You also said your family didn’t want me. Although you hated me, I always considered you my loved one. I always loved you and will continue loving you until my last breath. Your brother and I completed our five year relationship on May 2, 2013. I cannot say whether it’s still a relationship or not—I just don’t know.
Since you left so suddenly on November 12, 2012, your family has become lifeless creatures. Your brother, who was your best friend, suffers the worst. He is now the only son and must emotionally support the others, and he can’t cry. Imagine his pain.
He hasn’t been able to sleep much in the past six months. I am always available to help him and to make him comfortable. He has broken up with me and won’t marry me since he must carry out his lifelong duty to support his family; the same family that is stuck on my cast and will never accept me.
He has promised me that he won’t ever marry another woman, but he also cannot marry me. I don’t know whether he will keep this promise, and like him, I cannot marry anyone else. Munmun, you always wanted to separate us, which you have finally done with your death. But you cannot make our love die. He has become dumb with immense pain and does not show it.
I have made myself available to him so he won’t be alone. But as you wished, he is busy with handling his family affairs and has stopped sharing his feelings with me. His family has now become his world, and I don’t know if I am worth anything to him. He never asks about my loneliness, insecurities, future, or my heart—just nothing. :'(
Munmun, he thinks about you constantly. Please visit him in his dreams and show him a good dream. And please tell him that you are okay and happy now—if you are. Please be near him so you may watch over him. Please...Good-bye dear. You cannot imagine how much I love you. Rest in peace.
Love, Chandana Kashyap
Dear Lil John,
I miss you so much. There were so many things we never got to do. I wish we could have spent more time together. Whenever I look in a mirror, I see you because I look like you. I am trying to keep rapping in your honor, but sometimes I feel like giving up.
How are you and granddaddy doing? Tell him I miss him. Have you met my god sister Jasmine? If so, tell her and my aunties I miss them. When you look down, are you proud of me? Can you please watch over me and show me the way? Please visit me in my dreams? My brother, I love you and will see you later.
Dear John, I miss you so much. It still hurts as much as it day when you died. Still, there are so many unanswered questions. Why did you leave me? I will always love you because you are the best brother anyone could have asked for. Merry Christmas John! xxxxx
To my brother Bob and my Dad,
Not a day passes that I don’t think about you. Bob, you were my baby brother. I think about all the good times we shared. I miss going to P.M. and our phone calls. Dad, you were my rock. I miss all the times we went to the horse races and the trips we took together. I miss you both and cry a lot. I know you are watching over me, Mom, Randy, Jody and Big Ed. I love and miss you guys so much.
Hey buddy! Although I never got to meet you, I love you so much! I am so glad I have a big brother to protect me! I can't wait to be in heaven with you, mommy, daddy, Dylan, and Brenna! Please visit me and bring Brenna too! I love you Kade!
Love, your little sister, Kaitlyn
Although it has been 26 years since you left, I can still see you in my mind. I wish you could see all the kids we have. Even for a minute, I wish we could talk. I love you, Frankie and dad so much. Bye for now.
Dear sweet bubby, I cannot tell you how much I miss you. Words can never express how difficult it is to get over the loss of a loved one. I miss you every day. With all of the pain and suffering you experienced, I know you are pain-free in a happier place.
I am selfish and want you to be here with me. Mom and dad haven’t gotten over losing their baby boy—especially mom. If she doesn’t talk about you or visit you, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. It’s still hard for her to imagine life without her baby, and that you aren’t coming back. I love you always.
Your big sister, Angela
Sheldon John Sathianathan,
You died so suddenly. Our family still remains shocked and traumatized. We have no joy like before because we can only think about what happened to you. All we have left is your memories, which remain in our daily thoughts. Our nights are sleepless just thinking of you. We keep asking why it was you because you were only twenty-one.
Our questions about what happened to you go unanswered. Your mum is taking it so bad. She wishes she could chat with you one more time to know if you are okay. We love and miss you so much. Farewell, my brother.